See, here’s the thing — I know I’m the asshole. But everybody forgets that fucking word has two different meanings — everybody else hates you for ‘being a dick’ but strangely, by the admittance of our name, we are actually the lowest on the low — the last part of the body that touches the shit as it leaves our system.

Kinda like real life. Does this excuse us from being an asshole? I’d say probably not in most cases. But sometimes, I want to be able to go “full asshole.” Shit, that’s just begging for a pr0n joke.

I did it. I said goodbye (Well technically “bye”) to my mother and godmother. I am unquestionably the arrogant asshole, that is who I am become in mine mothers eyes. She loved me for so many years, how dare I?

She waits and waits for that little boy to return, not understanding that little boy died time and time and time again.

That little boy is dead. He was killed in 8th grade. That little boy is dead. He was in the back seat of a car that flipped on some interstate. That little boy is dead. he climbed the rungs of the terrace and, imitating superman, flew to his death.

Whether you believe in quantum theory’s many universes interpretation, or you see it as a metaphor for those key moments having a life (and personal) changing event — you become a different person. You just do.

I died so many times in May of 2012. I died many times in 2016. As do we all. Some more than others.

The question is, is it infinity? or ever approaching infinity? Free Will or Fate? Particle and Wave Function? all tied together in a sea of collapsing energy we call the force, the flow, the holy spirit, energy, audrey dancing…

I JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO SEE THE RAMIFICATIONS OF THIS WITHOUT PANICKING BUT ALSO TREATING ME VERY, VERY SERIOUSLY.

But most just tune out and fly away, not that I blame them. Nobody likes to listen to the asshole. He knows assholes when he sees them.

The Space Cadet; A living humanity meets technology multimedia art project. Don't panic, you're already there. Coming soon: SpaceCadet.com & r/spacecadet

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